I know what you were thinking when you saw the title of this post, you dirty dirty deviant, but alas, you were wrong. Of course my assumption of what you were thinking probably speaks more to my character than yours, but lets just roll with it regardless.
Anyhoo, to the topic at hand. The Royal Wedding. Now, let me preface this post by saying that I couldn't give two hoots about the wedding, and care even less now its all over. However, even my general distaste for the whole event couldn't have stretched as far as some conspiracy theorists' conclusions.
There's enough bad feeling about the logistics and spending involved with the wedding to stun a team of oxen in their tracks, but the best (and by far, the brightest) is a theory that it was all done to raise the profile and selling power of....wait for it.....cucumbers!!
Apparently, in preparation for the wedding day celebrations, the British public (or at least the "Monarchists" amongst us) rushed out to purchase bucket loads of those undeniably enjoyable green phallic vegies knowing full well that cucumber sandwiches are the snack of choice for the refined and wealthy.
The fact that sales of the 'umbers rose considerably in the lead up to the wedding is substantiated somewhat by a report from Waitrose showing a 50% increase in the number of 'umbers sold during the wedding period.
Even in the face of that, you have to ask yourself: What kind of pill popping, toilet-water-drinking loony takes that snippet of information and comes up with a conspiracy based on the assumed allegiance of the Royal Family to the agricultural industry, or just the 'umbers in general?!
I mean, if that's such a believable theory, then why not assume the wedding was all about the bread sales in an effort to assist the waning farming industry as well as retail.
Either way it seems to be out there. Whether it's popularity is growing or not, I have no idea. I simply marvel in the maniacs out there and rejoice in my opportunity to witness such overwhelming idiocy, if for no other reason than it gives me something to say.
01 May 2011
Cucumber Madness!
06 January 2011
Religious Shennanigans
Well, I'll bring my blog to life once more with an act that most who know me will fully expect: a rant.
Having discovered Stumble some time ago, I was floundering through the world of the interwebs when I came across a site showing some beautiful pictures from space.
Whilst interesting to me, this in itself wouldn't be worthy of bloggage. However, the comments attached to the page do allow me to elevate this humble page to bloggage status.
As I started reading, and had I the presence of mind to film my reaction, you would see my expressions gradually (but dramatically) change from that of boyhood awe to that of impatience, frustration and finally outright irritation.
How is that, on the same canvas as these wonderful images; in the presence of something awe inspiring and tending to illicit the philosophical, that the comments could degree into such mind numbing idiocy.
Were the readers "wow-ed" by the incredible images of our Earth from a perspective we could only dream of experiencing? Were they dumbfounded by the beauty, grace and power of this Earth?
Well...no.
Somehow they managed to devolve into a debate (though not a particularly articulate one) on religion, creation and all things God.
Now, don't get me wrong, I can see the inevitable connection between the beauty and magnificence represented by these pictures, and His Holiness, but a religious debate? Really? Honestly people, surely you are now just spoiling for a fight anywhere you can get it.
Does a website so lovingly created to share wonder really need you bunch of numpties bringing it down in some kind of semi-orgasmic, deity inspired, brain fart. Couldn't you just appreciate the dignity and outright aesthetic value of the pictures showcased without having to demand that others acknowledge that this is a sight clearly created by God?
Apparently not.
It's probably worth me noting at this stage that I am, in fact, a religious person. I follow a path of worship, recognise the existence of a devine being(s) and fully respect others' rights to (though it should also be noted, for the record that I am not Christian). However, what I don't do, is take every opportunity to ram my own religion down other people's throats at every turn. What I don't do is find any excuse to connect something of beauty/value/morality/kindness or indeed any of the other examples popping into your head right now, with the existence of a God, the practice of my particular religion or the need to save ones soul.
I, a religious follower, am capable of appreciating beauty without referencing my faith, or more importantly, ramming my beliefs down someone's throat in a failing attempt to brow-beat them into accepting my point of view as fact.
Sadly, thats exactly what happened on this particular site, and it saddened me greatly. I was hugely appreciative of the effort taken to share these pictures with us, the denizens of the interwebz, but was ultimately turned off by the raging theological discussion that burst into life following them.
What a sad state of affairs. Sometimes, I understand why people are afraid to admit they have faith - none of us sane practitioners want to be labelled as one of "them".
30 July 2009
He is Risen!
No, no, I'm not dead...well not yet. I think my brain died, or my life did, because I just found myself with nothing to say. Let me mention now, that no one is more surprised and elated about that concept than I, but still, it's not condusive to good blog writing (or even mediocre writing like my own).
However, life has been more interesting of late, and my brain has been formulating ideas for posts more and more. This, to me, can only be a good thing.
So, I shall pledge to do a better job launching my inane ramblings onto this canvas. I can't promise they'll be of much quality though :-)
KG
24 December 2008
Chrimbo time-acha
Hey folks,
Just a quick message, firstly to apologise for the lack of activity for a while here. I've been having many crazy ideas about what to post here, and things I want to be doing, but have just failed to get round to them. My plate has been very full of late, so had very little time, or motivation to post regularly. Fear not however, I'll get to my list of things to post about soon, and then the fun can begin all over again! :)
However, I really just wanted to post to say that I hope all those I know who read this blog - be you friends of friends of friends, or my closest and dearest - have a fantastic festive season, and that you enjoy every moment. Christmas can be an exciting time for some, and a harrowing affair for others, so regardless of which pot you fall in to, I wish you all the best for the festive season, and hope you all enjoy yourselves immensely.
Don't be afraid to pop a wee hello comment on here over the festive period if you get bored/drunk/want to rub in your cool presents or in general are just making a nuisance of yourself :)
Enjoy folks, and see you soon.
B
14 December 2008
Defence Against the Dark Lurgy Teacher : BMan
Every year about this time, I get struck down with The Lurgy. I don't think there has been a year in the last 7 where I haven't suffered from a nasty cold over Christmas; Last year was the worst in recent memory where I spent near two weeks sleeping and generally living on the couch suffering from a raging flu.
Well I have that feeling again - I can feel a cold coming on, so rather than being stubborn and relying on my immune system to do the work, I'm taking a more proactive route. I'll be on the OJ, pills, mouthwash; whatever gets me through the Christmas period with suffering from flu once more.
It's gonna be a battle, but I'm damned if I am spending another year hauled up on the couch drinking lemsip and chicken noodle soup.
The battle is on!
17 August 2008
Rich Shit
We all know the word Bling right? For those less educated see this.
Well, I regularly read Born Rich (as you might have guessed) and in amongst the cool gadgets and ostantious gifts, there are some horrific examples of over indulgence which just dont make sense.
However, in amongst all that (spotting a theme here?) I stumbled across the worst example I've ever seen.
See this.
Oh....my....word.....
13 August 2008
More Goldman than Leatherman...
Whilst perusing Born Rich as I do frequently I stumbled across this.
I still say mines is better (comes complete with usage scratches and BMans blessing:
;-)
Nuke Dukem...yup that's right...
Ok, I'm a little late on the bandwagon here but I've been meaning to post about this for a while.
For any of you that pay attention to anything that happens at E3 you're likely going to know that this years E3 was not exactly the most successful. According to what's been said, and what I've seen so far, if E3 had been in a race, it would have come 9th out of 10, only just beating the Arthitis-riddled, I.V. dragging pensioner in lane 1.
However, weeding out any of the interesting bits leaves you with a great number of appaulingly "yawnable" presentations and conferences based around existing technology and fixes for things that should have worked correctly first time (see: Nintendo's Wii sensor fix).
However, by and far the worst example of E3's outrageously mediocre line up was the Duke Nukem trailer! No, before I go any further, let me just say I am a huge fan of the games. I've more or less loved every incarnation (the latter version being the least in that chart rating). As a result, I was keen to see what we could expect from Duke Nukem trilogy.
This is what they delivered:
Oh dear succubi-on-high, what an immense pile of shit! If I had wanted to see a 5 minute rotation of 10 year old pixel banners and shoddy flash work, I would have made it myself (believe me, I'm qualified!). E3 is supposed to showcase those pioneering companies out there pushing the boundaries of gaming and all things hardware related. Instead, we were subjected to this feeble excuse for a trailer?
Get it together E3 peeps - what exactly were you thinking?!!