Admiral Bitch Here....

TB sent this to me on facebook and it gave me a right old chuckle. Being a fan of Star Wars, this appealed to me.

Enjoy!

Norwich? Swaffham I say!

Disclaimer: It's a biggy! No! Not that (although....anyways) it's a long post :)


So recently TB and I took a trip down to Norwich, motherland of the barbie herself.

TB has family and friends down there and since it was high time she visited, yours truly was dragged along for the ride.

Now I had heard all sorts of wacky things about this country bumpkin city of Norwich so I was looking forward to exercising my piss-taking skills to the max.

Saturday morning came and off we went to pick up the hire car. I had fully invisaged problem upon problem (just because I was being pessimistic) but much to my surprise, 1 hour later we were on our way to Norwich (which I now pronounce Nor-witch). We were expecting an 8 hour trip all told so we prepared ourself for the long haul by stopping and picking up supplies at a local service station before hitting the motorway proper.

6 hours later and we were in Newark and making excellent time. We stopped at a service station to pick up some petrol and let me relieve my aching bladder, to find a great big "Out of Order" sign on the toilets.

Fuckbucket!

I spotted a cafe/shop/sheepmarket/childseller to the left and decided that they must have toilets.

I wasn't disappointed, but I have to admit, it was difficult to ignore the 250 signs on the approach to the bathroom letting "patrons" know that if you didn't buy anything in the shop, you would be charged 30p for use of the toilets.

30p!! £30p to piss?!! I think not!

With my eyes learning to swim, I skipped into the bathrooms, pissed and headed straight back out, waving to the woman behind the till on my way out.

30p! Jokers! And they say Scottish people are tight!

The 1 hour trip between Newark and Norwich was spent finding amusing alternative meanings for the ridiculous place names en route. My favourite was "Swaffham" which I pronounced with as strong a Scottish accent as I could muster pronouncing it Swaff-im and implying it was some action one would take in Glasgow when you wanted your mate to take someone else out with a bottle.

We got into Norwich with no issues and got ourselves in the hotel. Norwich was well prepared for my arrival and when looking out the hotel window I saw this:



Holy Shit (I proclaimed). We were in a hotel next to the Starship Voyager!!!

It turns out that it was actually the bus garage that they were building when TB last visited, but I called it Voyager from that moment on.

My interest peaked when I realised that Voyager was taking aboard a number of earthlings cleverly concealed within buses. The buses were clearly colour coded to seperate the strong from the weak and I was facinated, snapping pictures of every different coloured bus I could find.






There was a double decker blue bus (which clearly had the very important people in it), but the slippery little bastard kept avoiding my lens, first by hiding in Voyager and secondly by waiting till I was distracted momentarily before speeding away at top speed to escape. It even taunted me on the last day in the city centre and I wasn't ready for it.

I'll get you blue bus!!!

Anyywwaayyy.....

The rest of the trip was spent meeting TB's parents as well as most of her friends, and they were all really cool. Spent more time with Rick than anyone else, and I was pleased to find he's as bonkers as I am.

I mean really, you couldn't very well say that this man was sane, could you? :




The last bit of the trip was spent visiting what TB insisted was Norwich castle, but having driven passed it on the way into Norwich I assured her it must be a prison.

I mean come on!:




We were lucky to get the "pop in for a pound" deal because we were in the last hour of opening time, and boy was I glad. It wasn't a bad visit, but there's some odd shit happening in there!

For instance, I stumbled across a section of the prison which had some visual aids for visitors (of the non residential kind of course) but on closer inspection I realised I was looking at a video feed of the archway directly in front of the screen.




In the words of the french - "Ques que le fook?"

I did like some of the eerieness about the place though. This well placed knight in the window looked more than real from across the other side:




There was a section in the prison which detailed a nomadic people who's name now eludes me (I'll check with TB) and this just raised more questions.

I mean, take a look at this:




What's HE waiting for eh? The less said the better me thinks.

After getting lessons on how to be a Roman...




...I was introduced to Norwich's idea of Virtual Reality:




That was the last straw and I had to leave - quickly :)

So all in all, a fun trip, full of nonsense, oddities and good people. Just my kind of trip :)

Get fit you Wiiklings...

TB dropped me a quick text today to ask

"have you heard about Wii Fit?"

Well, I have to admit the answer was no. I know, I know, please, stay calm. I am a hardcore gamer, but I can't possibly keep up with all the developments all the time. (Shouts of "why the hell not?!" will be punished)

After taking a wii look (see what I did there) I was suitably impressed. Sure, most things about the Wii are a bit gimicky, and some of them plainly dont work well, but this actually looks like a clever move on Ninty's part.

I can see me investing in one of these when they come out in the UK (25/04/08) but at £69.99 it's quite an expensive accessory for a console. I've not decided if I'll put some pennies aside and get one once they are released, or if I'll wait a while and see if they come down in price. I'll "hum" and "haw" over that one for a bit.

In the meantime, take a look!

Wet and Sticky!

All those who saw the title and thought something untoward.....you can STAY. Everyone else - out! :)

It's time for another weekly dose of Yahtzee so here ya are - enjoy!

Knickers!

Afternoon crunchy fuckers!

Well, it has been quiet here. Shut it, thats cos I have a life, now sod off and jump on a railroad spike you puke mongering arsehole.

Ahh, doesn't everyone feel better.

Now that I have wrestled the keyboard back from my retarded and rather evil alter ego, I'll get on with things shall I? Yes, lets.

Firstly, I have a list of posts I've been meaning to do, and have not yet written. This does not mean that I dont love you, no no, it simply means I've had way to much to occupy my time.

I'll get my report from Norwich to you as soon as I can!

However, firstly, it occured to me that I had not given you the latest version of Yahtzee's ramblings - so here ya are:





Extra points for folks who spot the appearance of another well known online personality :)

Shatterblasted!

As always, Yahtzee's latest ramble is on the interweb and you've found it here fir...well one million, three hundred and seventy thousand, five hundred and thirty second to be precise, but ya know.......ahem.



Also, take a look at De-rez's latest video. Some parts are funnier than others, but the minute I seen the Max Payne parody it had to be posted :)

Alaska Can Come Too....

Rob emailed this to me this morning and strange as it is, it made me chuckle.

You may chuckle too...

Adam and.....

So, it official, I am once again completely addicted to EVE Online. I bought the game when it first came out back in '03 and played for about a year, getting involved in what was, at the time, one of the biggest "Corporations" in the game, Explore-Eve.

Then due to financial jiggery pokery and other games, I let my subscription lapse and EVE was absorbed into the pile of backshelf games I own.

Then, 4 years later, an old online friend of mine, a chap I gleefully refer to as '1N54N3' told me he was thinking about getting the EVE trial as he'd never tried it. Curiosity took hold of me, what with having peeps to play with again, and the fact that a major patch, named Trinity, had been released since I last played, and I signed back up.

And now I'm hooked - again!

Getting back into it wasn't easy given I couldn't remember my username and password and thus had to submit the mother of all petitions to CCP (the company who develop and run the online world) to have it unlocked. After 2 weeks of waiting, I finally figured it out by myself without their help and I was in! :)

It took a while for me to remember and get back to grips with the complex nature of the game, but I'm now all but back to the skill level I was at (just below the cats on the skill chart). I am playing with the character I created all of 5 years ago, and found that Explore-Eve is no more. Having emptied the remaining coffers of the Corp (being CEO now that everyone had left) I headed off into cold and dark space.

I successfully managed to get my loverly Omen class cruiser destroyed at a jump gate, then got podded (search for podded).

Thankfully through that whole process I managed to find a good group of guys who invited me to join a brand new Corp named, Elite Rangers. Having ignored my initial l337 jokes, we get on well :)

So, the game is back on. Its one of many games I'm playing at present (ignore the panels to your left - they need updated) but its well worth the cost :)

And just for fun, here's my baby, and replacement for Varsidius VII.

:D