Chrimbo cheer, fat stories and other assorted gubbins....

Merry Christmas folksies.

I hope all of you have had a fantastic Chrimbo morning, and get stuck into many a box of chocs and assorted food later this afternoon.

I myself was looking forward to a Christmas without the lurgy. Alas, the gods have worked against me and on Christmas Eve I developed a horrendous cough. It's translated over to today, along with a roughness that only comes from a fitful sleep. Still, I'm damned if I'll let it spoil my Chrimbo.

On a side issue, I was very proud to see that one of my sisters, Heather, had wangled her way into the papers yesterday and I'm delighted to present the article online here

You'll see her photo and the link to the article at the top of the page. I'm very proud of her and she's become something of a spokesperson in this field. It should be noted, however, that she didn't "lose 9 stone for HIV" as much as she's planning a round the world trip to assist in the fight against that horrific disease as a result of having lost 9 stone and given herself a new lease of life.

This whole scenario is a testiment to her tenacity as a person, her determination to achieve her goals, and the huge heart that beats within that, now quite small, chest. She now looks to devote a large portion of her life to helping the less fortunate than herself, and as far as I am concerned, there can be no greater legacy.

My pride knows no bounds.

Any support any of you can offer will be greatly appreciated.

1001 (-974) Xmas Questions...

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
I tend to commit hate crimes when dealing with wrapping paper, so gift bags it is. Hey, its not for me, its for the good of the world I tells ya!

2. Real tree or Artificial?
I go with Artificial usually. Real trees are a pain, messy, and hurt more when you chew on...em wait a minute....

3. When do you put up the tree?
Usually 12 days before Chrimbo, but I was late this year. I blame me flatmate I does!! :D

4. When do you take the tree down?
12 days after the big day.

5. Do you like egg nog?
I don't like Mongolian food.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
My streethockey stick - no one messes with baby B then.

7. Do you have a nativity scene?
No, the cats in my house dont fit in the stable....

8. Hardest person to buy for?
My dad

9. Easiest person to buy for?
My sister Heather - she only does "moral" gifts.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
I generally don't do on a card, what I can do face to face.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
A knitted jumper with a bloody reindeer on it!

12. Favorite Christmas movie?
Trading Places - hey its Christmas in the movie :D

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
December 24th

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
My "find your keys" keyring is now a cup holder - does that count? :)

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
The neighbour's cat

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
Put your hands together baby!

17. Favorite Christmas song?
I don't really do Christmas songs, but if I had to - Good King Wenseslasslasslass

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
This year is a bit different than normal because of family issues, but travel.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers?
Of course....um....

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
A big flashy star

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Always Christmas day - there's just no other time to do it!

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
Christmas music and decorations in shops by November 1st

23. Favorite ornament theme or color?
RED!

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner?
Gotta be the turkey man - what can I say, I'm a traditionalist

25. What do you want for Christmas this year?
A stroke of good luck

26. What was the one Christmas gift you wanted as a child but never recieved?
I was very fortunate as a kid, I think I got what I wanted.

27. Who are you tagging?
Anyone who reads this and aint Gurn.

All Hail Yahtzee!

I make a point of "reading" Yahtzee's "Zero Punctuation" reviews every week, and I thought it might be an idea to start including them here.

What the hell is a Yahtzee? Is that not that incredibly shit game old people play?? Well yes, but thats not THIS Yahtzee!

To understand fully who and what Yahtzee really is - you should check out his own site, and the site he writes for, namely The Escapist.

So peeps of CFOM, here it is!

Enjoy :)

B

A Day in the Face of a Gamer

So,

Last night naturally decended into Counterstrike madness with Gurn and bedjoingle (yeah, I don't know either) mad hatter timberwolf (a.k.a Jesse). After our first stint on a new server, Gurn and I had agreed to revisit, not only because it was fun, but because I wanted (see: needed) to experience an element of the server that had been whipped out of my vicious paw previously.

What am I talking about? I have no idea. No really, I don't. Ahem.

Well, for those of you who are, frankly, stupid enough not to have played the wonder that is CS, a number of servers use custom sounds during the gameplay which add to the....customness of the experience.

Why do you care? Well wait and I'll tell you why you care!

My CS config script stops these sounds from being downloaded so as to prevent the excrutiatingly long wait they cause when you log into a server for the first time. While I get logged into the game and frag myself a few witless wonders, poor Gurn can be sitting there waiting on "bigsaggytittiessoundfile.wav" to download.

Not for me!

However, throughout our previous trip to this server, I had been graced with the sound of Gurn spilling urine over his office chair via our skype connection. The cause? The huge number of custom sounds installed on the server.

Not this time bitch! I won't miss out - says BMan. So I altered the old script and prepared to play.

Now, most people dont understand the preparation that goes into one of Gurn and I's gaming sessions. This is not gaming - its ritual.

So, I prepared myself with my handy checklist:

Cream Soda?



CHECK!

Munchies?



CHECK!

Gaming Headgear?



CHECK!

I was ready to go. The conference call over Skype was sorted and on we went.

Sweet mummydaddy! Aside from the vomit-like stream of brain farts coming from myself, G and J, the sounds on this server were hilarious, not to mention most were incomprehendable (well to G and I) given they were in German!

I was laughing so hard initially, I completely forgot to take screenshots. I remedied that soon after!

We ended up playing on a map called "Westwood" which none of us had played before. This whore of a shanty town, come western village, come...well you get the idea, was filled with nooks and crannies (no one mention grannies!) to get lost, stuck and shot in.

Worse than that, there were two members of the clan who owned the server on, and they were taking full advantage of our stupidity.

As a result, we were struggling to hold the wee bastards at bay:



And so, Jesse and I went to avenge The Gurn's dead and Jesse whipped out the sniper and poked it in various directions:



I proceeded to throw my self helplessly in the line of fire with a number of sniper rifles, only to have Gurn and Jesse dive in front of me, toting Max Payne style Dual Barettas and inducing the "Bullet Time" facility on the server.

Screw you guys, I'm going home!

After getting over the frustration of having the witless wonders dive about in front of me killing everything, I began to appreciate the effort, and instead spent more time watching than playing :)



Eventually, westwood came to an end and we ended up playing cs_italy. It was here, we all came into our own, including BMan truly.

I got so caught up in playing I forgot to take screenshots again, but suffice it to say, I was on fire and in good fettle.



The threesome began to gel, and we all took up our positions to infuriate the enemy, with Gurn and I both managing to shred a few, and big J graduating from n00b to formidible!





There were some moments we got carried away, and with power, kills and cocaine (wait, scratch that last one) going to the head, mistakes were made.

I managed to shoot Gurn in the back of the head with an AK47:



Despite the mistakes, we finished up, having humiliated the clan boys, and rating up top on the table of coolness and big dickedness, or something.



HOWEVER. Disaster struck! One of the guys on the server, who had previously, not been playing all that well, suddenly became what, in the gaming world, we refer to as "uber". (Yes, I'm in touch with the gaming world ya know!).

Going from finishing Italy on 14 kills to 21 deaths, he suddenly started wracking up a foolish score, headshotting all who moved, and winning every round.

More of this ensued:



As the shouts of "hacker", "cheater" and "scripts!" began to echo throughout the level "Office", he began to protest, which made us all the more disbelieving:



And then sad:



And inevitably, angry and convinced we were being cheated:



Naturally, our annoyance decended into sarcasm, and an continuous enslaught of para machine gun strafing which just annoyed everyone else on the server too :)

We drew our play to a close, on noticing that it was after midnight, and immediately following our traded insults, logged off.

Ah, just like the old days :D

B

Contrary to popular opinion....

...I am not The Hoff (ah if only!). We just have similar taste in glasses and....um...eyes...

B

The Search Continues

So, the search to find daBman a decent job continues. I had an interview in the middle of the week that I feel went relatively well, and I am hoping this has been the break I've been waiting for.

It's not for lack of trying I assure you, and a number of colleagues have told me I should be easily employable with my skill set, but its just not been happening. Not to worry though, it'll take more than the pesky lack of a job to stop daBman - oh yes it wil - oh yes...coochie coo, oh wait.

Regardless of all that though, today is a chill day. It's been a busy week and I am taking some time out to enjoy the fact that the Gurnmeister has a half day today. We'll mostly be engaging in our usual online nonsense involving Counterstrike and a number of other gaming possibilities.

I might even have a few beers! *calms the gasps in the audience*

However, duty calls upon me once more. Its child sitting time as my nephew requires a guardian for a few hours this afternoon whilst my sisters take a quick visit to el hospitalo.

Yaroo - a chance to play with Bionicles without judgement. :D

B

Big B has returned

[FANFARE] *waves* *salutes* *trips* [/FANFARE]

Hail loyalists! Yes, thats right, he's back. I took a long time out, due mostly to the depravity that has been life of late, but I've decided to come back. I'm back into my writing, and that subjects the world to my nonsense blogging.

A la Gurn I'll be returning to blether about nonsense, and post silly videos, pictures and general pish that will either induce heart attack or vomit (if you're lucky, perhaps both!).

I've given the place a wee bit of a makeover, but there is likely more to come.

In addition, to those long term readers, today celebrates the return of CFOM! Rejoice, dance, sing, eat, sleep with your next door neighbour and be happy. It's the new of old.

Da-B-Man....is coming. :D