Cucumber Madness!

I know what you were thinking when you saw the title of this post, you dirty dirty deviant, but alas, you were wrong. Of course my assumption of what you were thinking probably speaks more to my character than yours, but lets just roll with it regardless.

Anyhoo, to the topic at hand. The Royal Wedding. Now, let me preface this post by saying that I couldn't give two hoots about the wedding, and care even less now its all over. However, even my general distaste for the whole event couldn't have stretched as far as some conspiracy theorists' conclusions.

There's enough bad feeling about the logistics and spending involved with the wedding to stun a team of oxen in their tracks, but the best (and by far, the brightest) is a theory that it was all done to raise the profile and selling power of....wait for it.....cucumbers!!

Apparently, in preparation for the wedding day celebrations, the British public (or at least the "Monarchists" amongst us) rushed out to purchase bucket loads of those undeniably enjoyable green phallic vegies knowing full well that cucumber sandwiches are the snack of choice for the refined and wealthy.

The fact that sales of the 'umbers rose considerably in the lead up to the wedding is substantiated somewhat by a report from Waitrose showing a 50% increase in the number of 'umbers sold during the wedding period.

Even in the face of that, you have to ask yourself: What kind of pill popping, toilet-water-drinking loony takes that snippet of information and comes up with a conspiracy based on the assumed allegiance of the Royal Family to the agricultural industry, or just the 'umbers in general?!

I mean, if that's such a believable theory, then why not assume the wedding was all about the bread sales in an effort to assist the waning farming industry as well as retail.

Either way it seems to be out there. Whether it's popularity is growing or not, I have no idea. I simply marvel in the maniacs out there and rejoice in my opportunity to witness such overwhelming idiocy, if for no other reason than it gives me something to say.