Chrimbo cheer, fat stories and other assorted gubbins....

Merry Christmas folksies.

I hope all of you have had a fantastic Chrimbo morning, and get stuck into many a box of chocs and assorted food later this afternoon.

I myself was looking forward to a Christmas without the lurgy. Alas, the gods have worked against me and on Christmas Eve I developed a horrendous cough. It's translated over to today, along with a roughness that only comes from a fitful sleep. Still, I'm damned if I'll let it spoil my Chrimbo.

On a side issue, I was very proud to see that one of my sisters, Heather, had wangled her way into the papers yesterday and I'm delighted to present the article online here

You'll see her photo and the link to the article at the top of the page. I'm very proud of her and she's become something of a spokesperson in this field. It should be noted, however, that she didn't "lose 9 stone for HIV" as much as she's planning a round the world trip to assist in the fight against that horrific disease as a result of having lost 9 stone and given herself a new lease of life.

This whole scenario is a testiment to her tenacity as a person, her determination to achieve her goals, and the huge heart that beats within that, now quite small, chest. She now looks to devote a large portion of her life to helping the less fortunate than herself, and as far as I am concerned, there can be no greater legacy.

My pride knows no bounds.

Any support any of you can offer will be greatly appreciated.

1001 (-974) Xmas Questions...

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
I tend to commit hate crimes when dealing with wrapping paper, so gift bags it is. Hey, its not for me, its for the good of the world I tells ya!

2. Real tree or Artificial?
I go with Artificial usually. Real trees are a pain, messy, and hurt more when you chew on...em wait a minute....

3. When do you put up the tree?
Usually 12 days before Chrimbo, but I was late this year. I blame me flatmate I does!! :D

4. When do you take the tree down?
12 days after the big day.

5. Do you like egg nog?
I don't like Mongolian food.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
My streethockey stick - no one messes with baby B then.

7. Do you have a nativity scene?
No, the cats in my house dont fit in the stable....

8. Hardest person to buy for?
My dad

9. Easiest person to buy for?
My sister Heather - she only does "moral" gifts.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
I generally don't do on a card, what I can do face to face.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
A knitted jumper with a bloody reindeer on it!

12. Favorite Christmas movie?
Trading Places - hey its Christmas in the movie :D

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
December 24th

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
My "find your keys" keyring is now a cup holder - does that count? :)

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
The neighbour's cat

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
Put your hands together baby!

17. Favorite Christmas song?
I don't really do Christmas songs, but if I had to - Good King Wenseslasslasslass

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
This year is a bit different than normal because of family issues, but travel.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers?
Of course....um....

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
A big flashy star

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Always Christmas day - there's just no other time to do it!

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
Christmas music and decorations in shops by November 1st

23. Favorite ornament theme or color?
RED!

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner?
Gotta be the turkey man - what can I say, I'm a traditionalist

25. What do you want for Christmas this year?
A stroke of good luck

26. What was the one Christmas gift you wanted as a child but never recieved?
I was very fortunate as a kid, I think I got what I wanted.

27. Who are you tagging?
Anyone who reads this and aint Gurn.

All Hail Yahtzee!

I make a point of "reading" Yahtzee's "Zero Punctuation" reviews every week, and I thought it might be an idea to start including them here.

What the hell is a Yahtzee? Is that not that incredibly shit game old people play?? Well yes, but thats not THIS Yahtzee!

To understand fully who and what Yahtzee really is - you should check out his own site, and the site he writes for, namely The Escapist.

So peeps of CFOM, here it is!

Enjoy :)

B

A Day in the Face of a Gamer

So,

Last night naturally decended into Counterstrike madness with Gurn and bedjoingle (yeah, I don't know either) mad hatter timberwolf (a.k.a Jesse). After our first stint on a new server, Gurn and I had agreed to revisit, not only because it was fun, but because I wanted (see: needed) to experience an element of the server that had been whipped out of my vicious paw previously.

What am I talking about? I have no idea. No really, I don't. Ahem.

Well, for those of you who are, frankly, stupid enough not to have played the wonder that is CS, a number of servers use custom sounds during the gameplay which add to the....customness of the experience.

Why do you care? Well wait and I'll tell you why you care!

My CS config script stops these sounds from being downloaded so as to prevent the excrutiatingly long wait they cause when you log into a server for the first time. While I get logged into the game and frag myself a few witless wonders, poor Gurn can be sitting there waiting on "bigsaggytittiessoundfile.wav" to download.

Not for me!

However, throughout our previous trip to this server, I had been graced with the sound of Gurn spilling urine over his office chair via our skype connection. The cause? The huge number of custom sounds installed on the server.

Not this time bitch! I won't miss out - says BMan. So I altered the old script and prepared to play.

Now, most people dont understand the preparation that goes into one of Gurn and I's gaming sessions. This is not gaming - its ritual.

So, I prepared myself with my handy checklist:

Cream Soda?



CHECK!

Munchies?



CHECK!

Gaming Headgear?



CHECK!

I was ready to go. The conference call over Skype was sorted and on we went.

Sweet mummydaddy! Aside from the vomit-like stream of brain farts coming from myself, G and J, the sounds on this server were hilarious, not to mention most were incomprehendable (well to G and I) given they were in German!

I was laughing so hard initially, I completely forgot to take screenshots. I remedied that soon after!

We ended up playing on a map called "Westwood" which none of us had played before. This whore of a shanty town, come western village, come...well you get the idea, was filled with nooks and crannies (no one mention grannies!) to get lost, stuck and shot in.

Worse than that, there were two members of the clan who owned the server on, and they were taking full advantage of our stupidity.

As a result, we were struggling to hold the wee bastards at bay:



And so, Jesse and I went to avenge The Gurn's dead and Jesse whipped out the sniper and poked it in various directions:



I proceeded to throw my self helplessly in the line of fire with a number of sniper rifles, only to have Gurn and Jesse dive in front of me, toting Max Payne style Dual Barettas and inducing the "Bullet Time" facility on the server.

Screw you guys, I'm going home!

After getting over the frustration of having the witless wonders dive about in front of me killing everything, I began to appreciate the effort, and instead spent more time watching than playing :)



Eventually, westwood came to an end and we ended up playing cs_italy. It was here, we all came into our own, including BMan truly.

I got so caught up in playing I forgot to take screenshots again, but suffice it to say, I was on fire and in good fettle.



The threesome began to gel, and we all took up our positions to infuriate the enemy, with Gurn and I both managing to shred a few, and big J graduating from n00b to formidible!





There were some moments we got carried away, and with power, kills and cocaine (wait, scratch that last one) going to the head, mistakes were made.

I managed to shoot Gurn in the back of the head with an AK47:



Despite the mistakes, we finished up, having humiliated the clan boys, and rating up top on the table of coolness and big dickedness, or something.



HOWEVER. Disaster struck! One of the guys on the server, who had previously, not been playing all that well, suddenly became what, in the gaming world, we refer to as "uber". (Yes, I'm in touch with the gaming world ya know!).

Going from finishing Italy on 14 kills to 21 deaths, he suddenly started wracking up a foolish score, headshotting all who moved, and winning every round.

More of this ensued:



As the shouts of "hacker", "cheater" and "scripts!" began to echo throughout the level "Office", he began to protest, which made us all the more disbelieving:



And then sad:



And inevitably, angry and convinced we were being cheated:



Naturally, our annoyance decended into sarcasm, and an continuous enslaught of para machine gun strafing which just annoyed everyone else on the server too :)

We drew our play to a close, on noticing that it was after midnight, and immediately following our traded insults, logged off.

Ah, just like the old days :D

B

Contrary to popular opinion....

...I am not The Hoff (ah if only!). We just have similar taste in glasses and....um...eyes...

B

The Search Continues

So, the search to find daBman a decent job continues. I had an interview in the middle of the week that I feel went relatively well, and I am hoping this has been the break I've been waiting for.

It's not for lack of trying I assure you, and a number of colleagues have told me I should be easily employable with my skill set, but its just not been happening. Not to worry though, it'll take more than the pesky lack of a job to stop daBman - oh yes it wil - oh yes...coochie coo, oh wait.

Regardless of all that though, today is a chill day. It's been a busy week and I am taking some time out to enjoy the fact that the Gurnmeister has a half day today. We'll mostly be engaging in our usual online nonsense involving Counterstrike and a number of other gaming possibilities.

I might even have a few beers! *calms the gasps in the audience*

However, duty calls upon me once more. Its child sitting time as my nephew requires a guardian for a few hours this afternoon whilst my sisters take a quick visit to el hospitalo.

Yaroo - a chance to play with Bionicles without judgement. :D

B

Big B has returned

[FANFARE] *waves* *salutes* *trips* [/FANFARE]

Hail loyalists! Yes, thats right, he's back. I took a long time out, due mostly to the depravity that has been life of late, but I've decided to come back. I'm back into my writing, and that subjects the world to my nonsense blogging.

A la Gurn I'll be returning to blether about nonsense, and post silly videos, pictures and general pish that will either induce heart attack or vomit (if you're lucky, perhaps both!).

I've given the place a wee bit of a makeover, but there is likely more to come.

In addition, to those long term readers, today celebrates the return of CFOM! Rejoice, dance, sing, eat, sleep with your next door neighbour and be happy. It's the new of old.

Da-B-Man....is coming. :D

Spi-didly Numero Trois - - - [Minor Spoiler Warning]

Hail kiddies!

It's been a while since I set pen to paper (figuratively speaking of course) and there is no real reason - what?! I have to give you an excuse! pft! :P

After an early trip to the meadows for my morning training, I decided to waste away the morning in the cave-like recesses of Cineworld. There are a few movies demanding my attention of late, however given that it was release day, I thought I would endulge in some superhero action with Spiderman. I remember that sentence being far less gay in my head.

Anyway!!

The man of spideryness is back, and I was keen to see how well they would do with this one. In my opinion, Spiderman was an excellent movie, which followed a familiar, but well established formula, and it delivered. Unfortunately Spiderman 2's maths had not been quite up to scratch and whilst it delivered in places, it was, on the whole, many fractions out.

Perhaps had it shown it's 'working' a little more, I might have appreciated it more.

Spiderman 3 has clearly been swatting up on its long division, however it didn't read some of the questions thoroughly enough. It really isn't a bad movie at all - in fact, I rather enjoyed it - but I was a little disappointed in a few things.

Firstly, the storyline. Whilst it was sufficient to guide you through the 138 minutes of the movie, it was a bit of a rehash of Spidey 2, and seemed to cover many of the same principles (our spidey being a principled kinda guy an' all). This meant that there were points in the movie I thought I had already seen, only to realise that feeling was brought to me courtesy of a few moments in the movie's predecessor.

Secondly, Venom. I was quite looking forward to the portayal of Venom in this movie (since I like the darker side of the moon), and I was also keen to see how Topher Grace would fare in his first major movie part of any significance. Now, before I mislead you, I am not about to bash to portrayal of Venom - far from it in fact - I am however about to highlight something which, in my opinion was a grave mistake Mr Raimi.

Venom was just not in this movie enough!

Topher's presence on screen was surprising given his human characters' relatively forgettable part to play in the grand scheme, however when he finally become Venom...well what a show! The marvellous effects used once our pretty boy. Eddie Brock. finally comes face to face with the 'black stuff', coupled with some fantastically dark portrayal, made me check the certificate awarded! It's just a shame it took until three quarters of the way into the movie before we got to see it! Watch out kiddies, that nasty venom is kinda scary!

Aside from the relatively forgettable base storyline, and the lack of venom in the movie, I was very pleased with other elements.

Firstly, the effects. The effects for all the movies were impressive, but the special effects Gurus working on S3 did fantastically, in both the effects for Venom, and for the monster that is Sandman! I was delighted to see some very clever methods put into place to help these characters grow on-screen.

Secondly, the humour. The Spiderman series has always been one to make peeps laugh, and this movie has it in spades. From the return of everyone's favourite abusive tabloid editor J. Jonah Jameson (J.K. Simmons) to Bruce Campbell's hilarious performance as the Maître d’; From the ever expected cameo by the Marvel wonder Stan Lee to the S2-esq 6 minute musical scene with Mr Parker (Toby Maguire) himself, you'll not be short of a laugh or two.

Thirdly, the Goblin. I won't say much on this front, but I kinda liked what they did!

So all in all, not a bad film in the slightest. Still not as satisfying or as impressive as S1, but a hell of a lot better than S2.

B-Man says: 3.5 Stars.

I'm Waiting For My Real Life To Begin

It occurs to me how easy it is to lose sight of all the important things in life. We all have priorities in our lives, many of which vary from person to person, but some remain constant.

Many of us measure our lives by the success we have had. The main flaw I find in people, including myself, is the means by which we create that line of success. How do we judge success? Is it measured by money? By academic achievement? By rank and title? Or is it by that which we often forget, the successes in life that may not return a tangible benefit like fortune, like rich lifestyle, like sycophantic admiration?

The former is often how we judge ourselves, and that's not all wrong. Many of us have goals in life, and those goals are admirable ones, assuming they do make us forget the other elements of life. The latter, well that is an element of life that heralds a beauty I believe is unparalleled in this brief existence.

What of family? Morality? Inspiration? Loyalty?

These are things that many of us, alongside our career aspirations, pride highly; But how often do we forget these things? How often do we let these things drift to the background, because we believe the fast pace of life today demands we do so, whether we want to or not?

All too often I fear.

These are the things that are life. To work continuously, ever allowing the fast pace of life to spiral out of control, and force those more important elements to background, is merely to survive.

To live - now there is a challenge.

It makes me think of a song I rather enjoy:

Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
I'll stand on the bow, feel the waves come crashing
Come crashing down down down, on me

And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart
Let the light shine in
But don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

There is a clever message in this song, and it inspires me to understand something that I think I forgot all about.

Having a plan is not enough. Waiting for your life to begin is folly. You must make it happen, for if you don't, you may well wake up one day, realising you have accomplished much in the fast paced world, and in turn have let the true essence of life pass you by.

You might just wake up one day and realise that you're on your own, and while you worked and focussed on academia and fortune, your life, your family and all you thoguht you prized so highly has passed you by.

Inspiration is all anyone needs.

Consider me inspired.

Not too far from the truth....

Yoinked from _ladyp_



I would have used the usual HTML code, but since it doesn't seem to work with blogger, you'll just have to settle for a screeny.

If you wanna try it yourself, go here

He's been at the pixie dust...

I just spat my orange juice all over the place when I read this.

Check THIS out.

For those of you who are too lazy to check the link, let me summerise this for you.

"Robert Boyd, 45, from Broadlands in Carrickfergus, is accused of holding up staff at the Orchid shop in Belfast disguised in a wig, hat and glasses."

"He is accused of stealing two sets of bras, knickers, suspender belts and stockings from the shop on Lisburn Road on 14 December, 2005."

"He told defence counsel Anthony Cinnamond that within his small social circle he had been participating in a game known as Shadowrun.

The game was set in the future and the assumed characters were criminals, he said.

He told the court his character was a shaman, or magical elf, who carried a small Japanese sword as a weapon.

Mr Boyd, who said he visits a psychiatrist regularly, conceded that he "seemed to have blurred that line between reality and fantasy". "

I don't recall ever blurring fantasy and reality when I was playing Shadowrun, but I wish now that I had :)

Oh sweet mummy daddy button that's funny.....

Likely! He's one of Henry's men!

What an odd development.

The endless days and nights without sleep, the lack of meditation, the inability to bubble, I would have sworn it was the end of me. Yet, now it has brought on a completely unexpected side effect.

My writing.

I spent 6 hours writing yesterday. This normally would be no great change in habit, however my lack of focus has meant that lately, I've been lucky if I could concentrate on a mindless tv show for 25 minutes, much less accomplish anything remotely resembling writing.

WRRRROOONNNG!!

My brain swims with ideas. P hasn't (or perhaps has) helped things by encouraging me to write her a short story for her birthday which will (hopefully) be in the style of one Mr. Pratchett.

That coupled with my inspiration and drive to do something crazy the other night has left me aghast.

Everyone grows up hoping to do something really big, and cool. Everyone imagines themselves as being someone who could be doing something.....something! Not just worthwhile (and in some cases not even) but cool, and distinguishable from the grey and boring.

I decided the other night there, that I was going to. No more wishing, no more wondering how cool this would be, or how interesting that would be. It's time to make it happen.

Part of this dream is of course to have some success in my writing. I hope that will happen, but I won't be putting all my eggs in one basket. I plan to do shed the inhibitions and limitations, and simply go for it all.

You can't fail if you never give up. :)

When asked by a friend (in a nice way): "You reckon you can do all of it?" my response was simple.

"Likely! He's one of Henry's Men".

:)

Ok, there is definitely a problem.....

This week has been...how should I put it...hell.

As at least one person has commented, my latests posts have not sounded very happy. It's because I am not. Revelations about the apparent lack of success in my life aside, there are other things bothering me, which are, put bluntly, fucking with my Chi.

Everyday I go through a number of steps to ensure I am a calm, controlled and focussed person. This routine is responsible for my change in character, my ability to control my emotions about those things going on around me, and my resolve towards my loved ones.

Now, here comes the problem. I can't do it now. Confused? Yeah, I thought so - let me explain.

Somehow, this past week has been more emotionally straining than any recently. And somehow, that stress is messing with my ability to focus. I can't meditate. I can't bubble*, I can't focus and my dreams are worse than they have ever been before.

It's making me nuts. I feel like a raging neurotic, incapable of maintaining any kind of mood, and incapable of making rational decisions.

I think, as far as others noticing, its only appeared as mild so far, however internally, it's ripping me apart. I am only just capable of holding things together, and whilst I am not dependent on this daily ritual, it's absence presses me more and more every day.

I think I am going to go mad.

B

*Bubble: A method "sensitive" people use to block out stray and powerful emotions they pick up from others (yeah yeah I know, some of you won't believe in it).

Digital Decorating pt4

A good bit of work done on the old blog today.

Managed to distract myself from my foul mood by working away on here. Nice to see I have gotten somewhere.

Nice new and fresh banner, which I am relatively pleased with, and some additional graphics.

Some of the graphics are a little scratchy, but I was in no mood to work too feverishly on them today. Nothing is linked as yet, and there are still more cast members to be entered (as soon as I can secure photos (watch out y'all!)), not to mention my piss poor quote.

Is my inability to think of an amusing personal quote down to my, until now, unrecognised lack of a sense of humour?? Someone help me!!

Answers on a postcard peeps.

Introspection..

I am always wary when I feel like this. I have always been an emotional person, anyone who knows me will know this all too well. It tends to be those emotions which lead me to write this down.

Is it a plea for help from the darkness of a sad mind? No, I don't think so. I don't write it here in the hope that someone might pop along and massage my wounds with a kind word. I put it here so that it might forever remind me of the mistakes I have made.

During different periods of my life I have done different things with those emotions.

When I was young I turned them into anger and hate. That path is a dangerous one, and at some point down the line, no matter who you are, you'll crash. I did.

Then I learned to show my emotions, and be open about them. It led me to one of the people who, until I die, will always hold a special place in my heart. But, eventually, I destroyed that relationship, by being foolish, and letting small things snowball until I was no longer a viable option.

That led me to one of the darkest periods of my life (which for anyone who really knows me would know to be a fairly daunting prospect) with only the odd few lights throughout.

Eventually I got here, and whilst I am more in control, more steady, cleaner and stronger in spirit, I still harbour regrets.

I look upon my life and wonder how I could have made it better. I have left a trail of destruction in my wake in my short time on this planet. My past turns to ash and dust, and engulfs anyone who accompanied me along the way. It's a tough realisation, but one which, rightly so, had to come to light.

I never really committed to anything in my life fully. I was always in it for the quick win; I always had something better, less productive, less successful to do and achieve. In every element of my life, I could have done better. I was capable, but I lacked motivation. I was big on the talk, and lacking in the action.

As a result, I now see my life as a series of wasted opportunities, ruined moments, and coal-coloured remnants which can never be repaired, or even returned to a portion of their former glory.

It is days like this, I take a good long hard look at myself, and what I have achieved and realise that I don't really like what I see. It is days like this, that no matter what philospohical nonsense I manage to spout, no matter what I tell myself to feel better about, it makes no difference. I have nothing to show for my efforts, limited as they may be.

I pushed anyone and everyone who ever loved me, and I ever loved, away. Through fear; Through stupidity; Through selfishness.

Dramatic? Not really. Self deprecatory? Perhaps. Honest with self? Certainly.

And not before time.

Isn't that sad.

Digital Decorating pt3

Well, I decided, eventually, to do a bit more work on the template to see if I could pretty-it-up a bit. You'll see from the side section what I am thinking of doing, but the images are a little too big, and I need to balance them up.

Still, the HTML elements are in now, so its just the simple task of working with the artwork a little to try and scale and balance.

It's feeling a little more homey now :)

Holy Duck Billed Platypus...

...they killed Carson - YOU BASTARDS!

I spent the whole 15 minutes afterwards waiting for the get out clause. You know, the world saving - people rescuing - changing the orbit of the sun style get out clause which allows the writers to keep a key cast member alive. No such luck.

Damn you Martin Gero!!

Just when you thought you had folk figured out....

...they go and do something you didn't expect.

Yesterday was not one of my better days. All in all, it could have been a lot worse, since very little of a "nasty" nature occurred, however I did lose my cool a bit and was not as composed and calm as I pride myself on being these days.

I guess we all have our bad days, but I am bothered when I allow my frustrations to overwhelm my ability to remain calm and controlled. Yesterday was such a day.

I think it was probably a culmination of a number of things, however thats no excuse.

Here's to a better day today (cold not withstanding).

When someone uses a movie quote to sum you up...

...it often hits home harder than you thought.

"I don't think you're broken. I think you're mildly sprained; Nothing that can't be mended."

I am rarely given such pleasant compliments.

Literary Laughs

I've been meaning to post for a bit, but I've either not been in the mood or been busy with festive stuff.

First of all - Happy New Year to you all! May thi year herald all those things you wished the last had.

Now that the formalities are over with - allow me to blether on about something I spotted in the shops between Christmas and New Year. Ross, Annalee and I headed down to Ocean Terminal to do a bit of Xmas shopping with our pennies, and one of the first stops was Waterstones. Now, under normal circumstances, I would not have gone in.

"Why?" I hear you ask. "Does it offend your faith?", "Have you been banned for some heinous act?", "Are you really a tree?". All valid questions, and all answers a resounding no. Generally speaking, I don't allow myself into Waterstones because if I go in, I am incapable of coming out without having spent something; And to elaborate further "something" tends to be a foolish amount. The last time I tried it I went in with money from someone else to pick them up a paperback they had asked me to get on the way to their house. I went in, I picked up said paperback and I came out again. Except somewhere picking up the paperback and reaching the front door I managed to pick books up, take them to the till and spend over £70!!

So since then, I have had to restrain myself by not even going in. On this day however, I had pennies to spend, so I saw no harm. Of course I came out with the obligatory purchases that I had expected (6 books to be precise), but whilst in there, I spotted this little beauty:



MARIA!!!! (and I actually did shout that in Waterstones, much to Ross and Annalee's amusement).

I just about collapsed in laughter. I guess it's funnier for a Freemason (being me), but still - come on. I simply had to take a pic to share with you all!

I had a quick flick through it to see if I could find reference to some of the elements of Freemasonry that should not be out there in the public domain (anyone who shouts sheep will indeed be assassinated I assure you - yeah that's right, I have such power:P) but there was nothing. So how is exactly is it "Freemasonry for Dummies", if it doesn't educate you fully on the subject! I have a few of the 'dummies series on varies subjects, however this did lower my opinion a little.

How do they do it then? How do they educate you, when they have not told you everything? Well, technically, from what I could see, it should really be entitled "The History of Freemasonry" as it really only talks about the links to events of the past, the physical art of Stone Masonry, and eludes to a few of the speculative elements, without really telling you anything.

Come on guys - you're supposed to be educating the common man - not leading them up the garden path!!


:)