Chrimbo time-acha

Hey folks,

Just a quick message, firstly to apologise for the lack of activity for a while here. I've been having many crazy ideas about what to post here, and things I want to be doing, but have just failed to get round to them. My plate has been very full of late, so had very little time, or motivation to post regularly. Fear not however, I'll get to my list of things to post about soon, and then the fun can begin all over again! :)

However, I really just wanted to post to say that I hope all those I know who read this blog - be you friends of friends of friends, or my closest and dearest - have a fantastic festive season, and that you enjoy every moment. Christmas can be an exciting time for some, and a harrowing affair for others, so regardless of which pot you fall in to, I wish you all the best for the festive season, and hope you all enjoy yourselves immensely.

Don't be afraid to pop a wee hello comment on here over the festive period if you get bored/drunk/want to rub in your cool presents or in general are just making a nuisance of yourself :)

Enjoy folks, and see you soon.

B

Defence Against the Dark Lurgy Teacher : BMan

Every year about this time, I get struck down with The Lurgy. I don't think there has been a year in the last 7 where I haven't suffered from a nasty cold over Christmas; Last year was the worst in recent memory where I spent near two weeks sleeping and generally living on the couch suffering from a raging flu.

Well I have that feeling again - I can feel a cold coming on, so rather than being stubborn and relying on my immune system to do the work, I'm taking a more proactive route. I'll be on the OJ, pills, mouthwash; whatever gets me through the Christmas period with suffering from flu once more.

It's gonna be a battle, but I'm damned if I am spending another year hauled up on the couch drinking lemsip and chicken noodle soup.

The battle is on!

Rich Shit

We all know the word Bling right? For those less educated see this.

Well, I regularly read Born Rich (as you might have guessed) and in amongst the cool gadgets and ostantious gifts, there are some horrific examples of over indulgence which just dont make sense.

However, in amongst all that (spotting a theme here?) I stumbled across the worst example I've ever seen.

See this.

Oh....my....word.....

More Goldman than Leatherman...

Whilst perusing Born Rich as I do frequently I stumbled across this.

I still say mines is better (comes complete with usage scratches and BMans blessing:



;-)

Nuke Dukem...yup that's right...

Ok, I'm a little late on the bandwagon here but I've been meaning to post about this for a while.

For any of you that pay attention to anything that happens at E3 you're likely going to know that this years E3 was not exactly the most successful. According to what's been said, and what I've seen so far, if E3 had been in a race, it would have come 9th out of 10, only just beating the Arthitis-riddled, I.V. dragging pensioner in lane 1.

However, weeding out any of the interesting bits leaves you with a great number of appaulingly "yawnable" presentations and conferences based around existing technology and fixes for things that should have worked correctly first time (see: Nintendo's Wii sensor fix).

However, by and far the worst example of E3's outrageously mediocre line up was the Duke Nukem trailer! No, before I go any further, let me just say I am a huge fan of the games. I've more or less loved every incarnation (the latter version being the least in that chart rating). As a result, I was keen to see what we could expect from Duke Nukem trilogy.

This is what they delivered:




Oh dear succubi-on-high, what an immense pile of shit! If I had wanted to see a 5 minute rotation of 10 year old pixel banners and shoddy flash work, I would have made it myself (believe me, I'm qualified!). E3 is supposed to showcase those pioneering companies out there pushing the boundaries of gaming and all things hardware related. Instead, we were subjected to this feeble excuse for a trailer?

Get it together E3 peeps - what exactly were you thinking?!!

Does anyone else think....

...it's worrying that one of the hits on my blog came from a google search which consisted soley of the words "humuliated boys"?

Additionally, should I be worried that this post was the one that came up from that search?!!

speedtest.net = Gurn's Nemesis

I've ragged Gurn stupid over the last few years about my speed of net connection in comparison to his lowly 2mb virgin line.

Well recently, after a violent fall out with BT which resulted in my telling them to go and violate themselves on a fencepost, I signed up to Virgin XL. Man - what a connection.

I showed Gurn a wee speed test the other day there, just to rub it in, and thought I'd share it with ya :)



:-D - Yeah Baby!

dabman is back baby...dabman.net that is....

I mentioned some time back that the reason my blog looked like the instead of a rats cage was because 123reg.co.uk had messed up and transferred my domain away so I didn't have control.

Well, no thanks to them, I've finally got it back, though I had to purchase it all over again, which stuck in my throat a bit.

I'll have to get my £10 transfer fee back (which they did nothing for) but aside from that, all is again correct in the land of dabman.net :)

Okay Okay, I know

I know I'll likely get shit from some of you because I've gone and blurted out random posts this morning without even talking about my holiday away with TBarb and The Gurnster.

I will post on this, I promise, but for now, I need to compile photos etc so I'll get to it in time.

Additionally, you may not that CFOM is looking...well shit really. That's because there has been a major fuck-up at my domain provider and they have inexplicably transferred my domain away and I have now lost control of it. It's in recovery mode at the moment and I'm waiting until I can purchase again (28th June) and fix all the broken links.

It's irritating I know, but hey, it happens....

Can someone perhaps sub me £20,000?

Pleeeeaaasssee....

See Here Funboy!

Holy Spunk Buckets!

I love rollercoasters. Wait, I don't think I said that right - I luuurrvveeeeeee rollercoasters - there better.

Imagine my weakened bladder when I saw this then:



That looks bonkers! Even more so is the concept video, which, makes the ride look as stomach churning as I would expect.




Anyone for a trip to Pennsylvania?

Skin Blistering Speed!

Take a look here.

Now that, my friends, is a graphics rig! I think I might have just wet myself.....

Now witness the power....

...of this fully armed and operation battle station!!!!

Drool, I must have one because I am the geek I am.....

CLICK HERE

Dollhouse with a Fringe....yes please...

I've been lacking something tv worthy to get my teeth into lately. My most recent obsession was Reaper, which TBarb and I watched religiously until the end of the season, but now I am somewhat lacking in shows that capture my interest. I've still to catch up on BSG (I'm working on that!), but that aside, nothing; nadda; a donut hole.

Perhaps until now (well in terms of looking forwards!)...

I've been checking up on some of the new shows looking to hit the street and something I've been interested in is Dollhouse. Naturally, my curiosity was peaked when I discovered it was a Joss Whedon project. Being a fan of Buffy, Angel and laterally Firefly/Serenity, I was immediately drawn in, and so far, it's looking interesting.

The show basically consists of a group of people who are regularly mind wiped, and then have their brains patched with a set of memories which allow them to carry out a certain task, for a fee. That task could be assassination, a date, espionage etc

In true Whedon style, we've got an Actor that we've seen in his works before in the form of Eliza Dushku. I wasn't a big fan of Tru Calling I have to admit, however I did like Dushku as Faith and I'm hoping she'll impress me as much as she did then.

Take a look at the trailer:



The other show that is peaking my interest is a new J.J. Abrams linked show named Fringe. It's a bit of an X-Files rip off with a twist, but then if you're going to model your show on a previous one, there are few better examples the the 'Files'.

I like the fact this show is headed by a virtual unknown (Abrams has a habit of picking good ones) and is supported by better known, cool actors like John Noble (Denethor - Lord of The Rings).

Take a look and see what you think for yourself. This one will make its Fox Premiere in December, and so far I haven't seen a confirmed date for Dollhouse.



Perhaps further weeks of my life in front of a tv screen? Time will tell......

Return of the Mac

Hey hey!

Yes yes, I know, I've not blogged in a while - hey that's the way (uh huh uh huh) the cookie crumbles.

It's all been down to a new job really. Moving from the world of the great unwashed to a working, earning member of this cruddy civilisation had taken it's toll on me initially and I was spending most of my free time just trying to stay awake. Coupled with rekindled love of the gym (TBarb and I got memberships to Greens) and my intention to get out and about, and that left the old computer unused for a time.

I've adapted now however and I'm getting my life back a bit now :)

So what's been going on then?

Hmm, well as a wee celebration at my new job (and my first pay packet in some time - which was larger than expected) I took TBarb to Koi, which is a Tappanyaki restaurant new Edinburgh University.

The food was excellent even though I wasn't quite brave enough to go for the calamari. Instead I watched TBarb devour hers with an animal passion (that is she devoured with an animal passion, I didn't watch with same :)). Still I enjoyed a fantastic meal, and we fully intend to go back.

What else? Well, I've been applying for a few different jobs to compliment my studentness, but nothing as yet.

I bought me an xbox eventually! :-D

I've finally achieved what I had wanted to for so long. I've successfully bought myself a Wii (well split in part with TBarb), an Iphone and now my X-Box Elite. *rocks*

I've been absolutely glued to GTA4 and more so, Gears of War. I'm just about done with the latter though it makes a great co-op game so it'll be getting kept as opposed to being traded in. I'm also delighted because I can use it a stream all the tv series and movies on the PC to the TV, rather than moving the portable HDD about all the time. Needless to say, I was suitably smug once the 'leet was set up and running smoothly.

I've got plenty else to tell you, but since I'm at work just now, I'll leave it be for the moment.

I'll be back with more nonsense :)

Gay jokes abound....

In much the same fashion Yahtzee experiences delays in release dates in Australia, you have to put up with the delay in my posting his witty excerpts. Why? Because you do bitch - now shut it!

Anyways, Yahtzee tackles an Army of Two this week....

Admiral Bitch Here....

TB sent this to me on facebook and it gave me a right old chuckle. Being a fan of Star Wars, this appealed to me.

Enjoy!

Norwich? Swaffham I say!

Disclaimer: It's a biggy! No! Not that (although....anyways) it's a long post :)


So recently TB and I took a trip down to Norwich, motherland of the barbie herself.

TB has family and friends down there and since it was high time she visited, yours truly was dragged along for the ride.

Now I had heard all sorts of wacky things about this country bumpkin city of Norwich so I was looking forward to exercising my piss-taking skills to the max.

Saturday morning came and off we went to pick up the hire car. I had fully invisaged problem upon problem (just because I was being pessimistic) but much to my surprise, 1 hour later we were on our way to Norwich (which I now pronounce Nor-witch). We were expecting an 8 hour trip all told so we prepared ourself for the long haul by stopping and picking up supplies at a local service station before hitting the motorway proper.

6 hours later and we were in Newark and making excellent time. We stopped at a service station to pick up some petrol and let me relieve my aching bladder, to find a great big "Out of Order" sign on the toilets.

Fuckbucket!

I spotted a cafe/shop/sheepmarket/childseller to the left and decided that they must have toilets.

I wasn't disappointed, but I have to admit, it was difficult to ignore the 250 signs on the approach to the bathroom letting "patrons" know that if you didn't buy anything in the shop, you would be charged 30p for use of the toilets.

30p!! £30p to piss?!! I think not!

With my eyes learning to swim, I skipped into the bathrooms, pissed and headed straight back out, waving to the woman behind the till on my way out.

30p! Jokers! And they say Scottish people are tight!

The 1 hour trip between Newark and Norwich was spent finding amusing alternative meanings for the ridiculous place names en route. My favourite was "Swaffham" which I pronounced with as strong a Scottish accent as I could muster pronouncing it Swaff-im and implying it was some action one would take in Glasgow when you wanted your mate to take someone else out with a bottle.

We got into Norwich with no issues and got ourselves in the hotel. Norwich was well prepared for my arrival and when looking out the hotel window I saw this:



Holy Shit (I proclaimed). We were in a hotel next to the Starship Voyager!!!

It turns out that it was actually the bus garage that they were building when TB last visited, but I called it Voyager from that moment on.

My interest peaked when I realised that Voyager was taking aboard a number of earthlings cleverly concealed within buses. The buses were clearly colour coded to seperate the strong from the weak and I was facinated, snapping pictures of every different coloured bus I could find.






There was a double decker blue bus (which clearly had the very important people in it), but the slippery little bastard kept avoiding my lens, first by hiding in Voyager and secondly by waiting till I was distracted momentarily before speeding away at top speed to escape. It even taunted me on the last day in the city centre and I wasn't ready for it.

I'll get you blue bus!!!

Anyywwaayyy.....

The rest of the trip was spent meeting TB's parents as well as most of her friends, and they were all really cool. Spent more time with Rick than anyone else, and I was pleased to find he's as bonkers as I am.

I mean really, you couldn't very well say that this man was sane, could you? :




The last bit of the trip was spent visiting what TB insisted was Norwich castle, but having driven passed it on the way into Norwich I assured her it must be a prison.

I mean come on!:




We were lucky to get the "pop in for a pound" deal because we were in the last hour of opening time, and boy was I glad. It wasn't a bad visit, but there's some odd shit happening in there!

For instance, I stumbled across a section of the prison which had some visual aids for visitors (of the non residential kind of course) but on closer inspection I realised I was looking at a video feed of the archway directly in front of the screen.




In the words of the french - "Ques que le fook?"

I did like some of the eerieness about the place though. This well placed knight in the window looked more than real from across the other side:




There was a section in the prison which detailed a nomadic people who's name now eludes me (I'll check with TB) and this just raised more questions.

I mean, take a look at this:




What's HE waiting for eh? The less said the better me thinks.

After getting lessons on how to be a Roman...




...I was introduced to Norwich's idea of Virtual Reality:




That was the last straw and I had to leave - quickly :)

So all in all, a fun trip, full of nonsense, oddities and good people. Just my kind of trip :)

Get fit you Wiiklings...

TB dropped me a quick text today to ask

"have you heard about Wii Fit?"

Well, I have to admit the answer was no. I know, I know, please, stay calm. I am a hardcore gamer, but I can't possibly keep up with all the developments all the time. (Shouts of "why the hell not?!" will be punished)

After taking a wii look (see what I did there) I was suitably impressed. Sure, most things about the Wii are a bit gimicky, and some of them plainly dont work well, but this actually looks like a clever move on Ninty's part.

I can see me investing in one of these when they come out in the UK (25/04/08) but at £69.99 it's quite an expensive accessory for a console. I've not decided if I'll put some pennies aside and get one once they are released, or if I'll wait a while and see if they come down in price. I'll "hum" and "haw" over that one for a bit.

In the meantime, take a look!

Wet and Sticky!

All those who saw the title and thought something untoward.....you can STAY. Everyone else - out! :)

It's time for another weekly dose of Yahtzee so here ya are - enjoy!

Knickers!

Afternoon crunchy fuckers!

Well, it has been quiet here. Shut it, thats cos I have a life, now sod off and jump on a railroad spike you puke mongering arsehole.

Ahh, doesn't everyone feel better.

Now that I have wrestled the keyboard back from my retarded and rather evil alter ego, I'll get on with things shall I? Yes, lets.

Firstly, I have a list of posts I've been meaning to do, and have not yet written. This does not mean that I dont love you, no no, it simply means I've had way to much to occupy my time.

I'll get my report from Norwich to you as soon as I can!

However, firstly, it occured to me that I had not given you the latest version of Yahtzee's ramblings - so here ya are:





Extra points for folks who spot the appearance of another well known online personality :)

Shatterblasted!

As always, Yahtzee's latest ramble is on the interweb and you've found it here fir...well one million, three hundred and seventy thousand, five hundred and thirty second to be precise, but ya know.......ahem.



Also, take a look at De-rez's latest video. Some parts are funnier than others, but the minute I seen the Max Payne parody it had to be posted :)

Alaska Can Come Too....

Rob emailed this to me this morning and strange as it is, it made me chuckle.

You may chuckle too...

Adam and.....

So, it official, I am once again completely addicted to EVE Online. I bought the game when it first came out back in '03 and played for about a year, getting involved in what was, at the time, one of the biggest "Corporations" in the game, Explore-Eve.

Then due to financial jiggery pokery and other games, I let my subscription lapse and EVE was absorbed into the pile of backshelf games I own.

Then, 4 years later, an old online friend of mine, a chap I gleefully refer to as '1N54N3' told me he was thinking about getting the EVE trial as he'd never tried it. Curiosity took hold of me, what with having peeps to play with again, and the fact that a major patch, named Trinity, had been released since I last played, and I signed back up.

And now I'm hooked - again!

Getting back into it wasn't easy given I couldn't remember my username and password and thus had to submit the mother of all petitions to CCP (the company who develop and run the online world) to have it unlocked. After 2 weeks of waiting, I finally figured it out by myself without their help and I was in! :)

It took a while for me to remember and get back to grips with the complex nature of the game, but I'm now all but back to the skill level I was at (just below the cats on the skill chart). I am playing with the character I created all of 5 years ago, and found that Explore-Eve is no more. Having emptied the remaining coffers of the Corp (being CEO now that everyone had left) I headed off into cold and dark space.

I successfully managed to get my loverly Omen class cruiser destroyed at a jump gate, then got podded (search for podded).

Thankfully through that whole process I managed to find a good group of guys who invited me to join a brand new Corp named, Elite Rangers. Having ignored my initial l337 jokes, we get on well :)

So, the game is back on. Its one of many games I'm playing at present (ignore the panels to your left - they need updated) but its well worth the cost :)

And just for fun, here's my baby, and replacement for Varsidius VII.

:D

Better late than never.....

I realised that, due in some part to Yahtzee being off to GDC two weeks ago, I have forgotten to post the last two vids published. So here they are:

27/02:



21/02:

The One Armed Man

Every now and then, the oddest, and most serious of days leaps upon you in fashions you never even expected.

Today was one such day and opened my eyes to many things.

As some of you will know, my sister Heather was departing on her sojourn across the world today, to return in no less than 2 years, if ever. I knew it was coming, and I was delighted for her given this was something she'd intimated she had wanted to do for a very long time.

Even given that time to prepare, even given my happiness and pride at her taking on the challenge, my mood was affected in ways I could not have forseen today. I was levelled with nostalgia, pummelled with the need to rehash the past, and driven to think of all the people whom I miss from my life these days - family or not.

As you might imagine, that hardly leaves one in a state of stratospheric happiness, nor, in my case, did it leave me solidly in a gutter somewhere. Instead, I was somewhere inbetween, sporting the bruises of a person who was neither wildly happy, nor unhappy; but of someone contemplative enough to recognise a number of mistakes, and to reprioritise some things that he had perhaps taken for granted.

I had planned to go to the airport with my other sisters and my brother-in-law to see Heather off, and this realisation simply made the determination to be there greater.

Seeing Heather off was harder than I had expected. I'm not good at the personal stuff face to face, I never have been, and I've gotten worse as the days of my life have passed. I don't suppose I appeared to anyone around me as if I was much impacted by my sisters departure, but I was. My sisters' subsequent reactions were enough to make me realise how much I was going to miss Heather, and how much the three of us still here would have to stick together in her absence.

Technically I only have two blood sisters, Lorraine and Heather, but for as long as I can remember Nancy has been there, and for me there is no distinction strong enough to convince me to think of Nance as anything less than family.

For me, myself and my sisters have always been like 4 people making up the parts of one person.

Lorraine is the temperance and the calm.
Nancy is the compassion and understanding.
Heather is the brains and the lover.
And I am the fire and the recklessness.

In some ways I feel a little like a person who just lost a part of his brain, or more closely an arm or a leg. I've been prepared for the operation for a long time, and still my body is in shock.

However, all that said, I would gladly give that arm for Heather to achieve what she wants to achieve. I'd give my entire being for any of them to get what they deserve from life. Heather was always the one who was going to do the brave things. The revolutionary and the free of heart and so, deep down, it doesn't surprise me that we have to say goodbye to her, even on a temporary basis.

To Heather, and to all of my sisters, I love you all dearly. You are my conscience, my strength, and my heart - without you I would be lost. With you, I can leap large buildings in a single leap.

Nietzsche says "Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper".

I'll take that mess, annoyance and repetition any day of the week.

Trandimensional thingymagigery

Well I had hoped to make a couple of posts before this weekend, but really I've not got around to it.

Now before you have a pulminary embalism over it, remember I have actually had stuff to this week. Aside from being a member of The Great Unwashed (which is taxing work I tells ya), I've had to make a million phone calls (yes literally), prepare for an interview, assist my currently ill dad, tidy, hunt down that peeping tom of a squirrel who watches me dress in the mornings (I feel dirty!) and most importantly play games on my new computer.

So, as a result, I'm running out of time. I have to pop over again to my dads, both to pinch a perfectly sized suitcase and to check on him, go to Asda for some train goodies (cider mostly) and then dash off to get my haircut before going straight to the lodge to help out with the bar. Phew! I could really do with one of those transdimensional half life machines (I forget the name). That would help!

On top of all that, at 8:21 am tomorrow I'll be standing on a platform at Waverly waiting to get on a train to Manchester with some of the lodge boys to enjoy a Friday at another lodge and the rest of the weekend getting....well ear bleedingly drunk in all likelyhood. *takes breath*

I'll get back on Sunday afternoon but I have no idea what state I'll be in, so you might not hear form me until Monday. I will have a full report then before preparing for my interview on Tuesday.

THEN and only then, might you get the other things I was planning to blog about (which are tucked on my handy sidebar.

The Number 123

I was tagged by Gurn a week or so back, and now Annalee has also done so, so I should perhaps fall in line (pfft, like that'll ever happen).

The rules: -

1. Grab the nearest book (that is at least 123 pages long).
2. Open to page 123.
3. Go to the 5th sentence.
4. Type in the following 3 sentences.
5. Tag five people.

It's hard to say exactly what the closest book to me is, given that my bookshelf is less than 2 feet from my right arm, so I picked the first book from my shelf - The Human Mind.

"This is, of course, the feature of the brain that makes movies and TV possible - we don't see twenty-four frames a second flashing across the screen, but experience them as a harmonious whole. Consciousness is not an instantaneous experience - it takes time to build itself, and the brain covers up for its own time lag.

Some 120 years later, Benjamin Libet at the University of Southern California became interested in this time lag."

I tag EVERYONE!

An otter chewing an electric fence...priceless!

This week Yahtzee shows his love for Nazi Germany....oh and he reviews Sim City Societies too.....

A gazillion daft questions...

I have succumbed to the pressure of G's blog.

Here ya are!



You're really upset. Who is the first person you call to vent?
Hmmm...I dont always vent, I'm a bit of a introspect, but if I do, its usually either Gurny or Annalee (poor buggers)

If you had to choose, would you rather be an alcoholic or a pothead?
Alcoholic

Who is the last person you hung out with?
Annalee, I do live with the woman after all.

How did you meet this person?
Through a bunch of old mates

Do you get along with guys or girls better?
Depends on the guy or girl - My intolerance of fools is equal regardless of sex

Have you ever fallen asleep upside down?
Um...no

Do you like shows like Forensic Files and Unsolved Mysteries?
Not overly...I'm a sucker for American political drama

Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning?
Morning - invigoration baby!

List 3 people you were best friends with in 6th grade:
Simon Darrie, Steven Hanley & Graham Nelson.

Who is the best person to cheer you up?
Me!

When you see people, do you critique how they look or act?
How they act, yes, how they look, no.

Who is the last person you added to your contacts list in your phone?
Not a scoob!

When is the last time you had pizza?
Last week round here with Annalee and The Gurn

How do you think you look right this moment?
Old and fat :)

If you had the chance to have your face put on a quarter, would you
What is this "quarter" you speak of...?

Heard any really great quotes lately?
"Your end is nigh sauna boy"

Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life?
I'd like to think so, but inevitably there's a good chance the answer is no.

What is the last movie you saw in a theater?
National Treasure : Book of Secrets

Do you remember the name of your first school you ever went to?
Stenhouse Primary School

What do you think of people who have their name tattooed on them?
I wonder if they did it so they wouldn't forget it when they're drunk.

Is there a song that is driving you crazy because you dont know who sings it?
I know everything, didn't YOU know THAT?

What is the name of your siblings best friend?
Heather: Nancy. Nancy: Heather. Lorraine: Alison

What is the last spoken words you heard?
"Bye"

Last awkward moment?
I dont embarrass so I dont recall

Who do you find yourself crushing on currently?
Anyone on a busy bus

Ever found more than a dollar in a random place?
If I translate that to 50p, then yes. I once found 314 in change in the middle of a road, and £35 on a side of grass.

Name 1 thing that everyone knows about you.
I'm arrogant

When a friend walks out of your life, do you go after them or let them go?
It all depends on the circumstances. I have a better measure these days of who my true friends are.

Has anyone ever been more important to you than a family member?
Not more important, but as important, yes.

Last time you smiled?
About a minute ago - I'm a grinning idiot.

Would life be the same without alcohol?
Probably, but it wouldn't be any worse.

Would you go a month without washing your hair to save a loved one?
Not wash my hair...what?! Hmm..I'd have to think about that one.....pfft!

Would you cry if you found out you were pregnant?
I'd likely faint and thereafter realise where this belly came from.

Do you think your current pets will be alive ten years from now?
Rats dont live that long usually so not them, but I imagine Tori will still be around.

When was your last bubble bath?
When I was 4

Do you know anyone by the name of Dennis?
Only Mr Crane.

Where is your pet(s) right now?
Sasha is lying at my feet, Tori is off eating people's souls, and Cachel and Mox are sleeping in the living room.

Name five things you did yesterday?
Hit my head on the kitchen cupboard.
Reached "confident" in Uplink
Danced a merry dance
Fell over a cat
Robbed a hobo

What color phone do you have?
Silver and Black.

How many kids do you want to have?
Not sure if I want to have any or not.

What outfit do you have on at this exact moment?
A t-shirt and jeans - I'm THAT exciting

What color are your eyes?
Blue

What are you doing tomorrow?
Starting my Computeach course proper

Do you know someone who likes you?
I dont even like me!

Does a heartbreak feel as bad as it sounds?
Much, much worse

What color is your hair?
Naturally, white, but its black just now.

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Nope

What is the closest blue object to you?
A six sided dice

Have you eaten popcorn in the past 48 hours?
No.

Do you have a lot of guy friends?
A few

When's the last time you were in handcuffs?
It was just that once, and I was oh so drunk.....

CoD Piece

This week Call of Duty 4 get the verbal ravaging it deserves by that satirical monster Yahtzee (with a generally unprecedented amount of ego massaging thrown in!).

Da-B-Man : Student Extrordinaire

Yes that's right B-Fans I have forsaken the loving bosom of working life (and this incessant search for a suitable job in the marketplace I formally worked in) and become a student once more.

I suppose I should make the point that I am doing a distance learning course (purely to avoid spending another 4 years at University) and as such, I'll still be working, but what I'll be working as in the short term is yet to be decided.

So Big B, what is it you could possibly be learning?

A good question folks. I will be entering the not so lofty realm of web designers as I study my CIW Master (what a name!) course which, when completed, will leave me a fully accredited and internationally recognised Webmaster - which should go nicely next to "Universally accepted wanker" and "Internationally recognised photo stealer" plaques hanging above this here desk :D

According to the institution I am studying this through, I should be able to pick up some work through them well before reaching the lofty height of "CIW Master" and that should break me into an industry early.

Joking aside for a moment, it's been a long time since I've felt any sense of purpose in my life, and I haven't felt a real desire for many jobs in my hunt over the last year, but this move has given me what I can only descibe as a new lease on life. I'm driven, I'm excited, and most importantly I'm positive.

I love it :)

So, hopefully I'll be able to take my newly nurtured talents and get myself into a decent job, not to mention actually spending some time getting this blog up to scratch :)

Yahar!

P.S. Why did I change the banner? Cos I can baby!!!

Jill Valentine You Slut!

Yahtzee's newest gibberations are aimed at most recent adventures of that mego-lo-maniacal virus swiller - Umbrella.

Better Late than Never....

Yahtzee does it again this week. The almightly goat hump is given to The Witcher this time....enjoy.

Posting Delays : Much Like Royal Mail

Hey folkies...

There has been a distinct lack of posting in the last few days, mainly down to my machine behaving in, well an odd fashion to put it lightly.

The light at the end of the tunnel is that after a little more tweaking on my net connection and network card, I hae improved the overall test results significantly.

Check it out!:



:D

One problem down, one unsolved. The case continues.....

You looking at me chicken neck?!

Gah!

That sums up my morning so far - gah!

I woke this morning to pleasant tweeting from the bitch that is my mobile phone.

"Get up you filthy waster...and make me some breakfast" it said.

That was weird.

Anyways, I arose, knowing I had to go to that god-awful place that all filthy wasters like me must attend on a fortnightly basis - the tax dodging office, known better to most as The Job Centre.

Bearing in mind that through a rather unpleasant twist of fate I ended up unemployed some time ago, it's in my interests to attend ye olde demotivation shope each fortnight to claim my measly pennies for being a tax dodging leech on society.

And so, with a hop, skip and a jump I was showered, dressed and off to visit the monster that would claim my eternal soul. Ha! Little does it know that I sold that off a long time ago to a man in the stress, who smelt faintly of smouldering concrete.

I arrived at the unholy place a good deal earlier than necessary, and handed my book over to the mute security guard who always looks at me with a mix of sheer loathing and a want to ravage my deepest and darkest places.

After shuddering I proceeded to the touch screen panels at which I might find salvation, however unlikely.

Suddenly, I was called, 15 minutes early.

"Gosh, golly and shim shim sheroo!" I proclaimed at the surprise.

"Good Morning Mr B, How are you?" said the same chap who usually sees me.
"Well thanks, you?" I replied in a tone that was carefully chosen so as not to seem rude, but equally so as not to encourage too much conversation.
"I'm good thanks, right lets get this done shall we?"

I assumed the position.

"Oh...." he said with a face that a dog only makes when being fed through a mincer.

"Oh?" I replied expecting the worst.

"You have an appointment for a review today at 13:40, Hamish (real name withdrawn) will sign you then, you don't need to be here"

Despite my mental flash which saw me gut the pathetic weed and proceed to exterminate the rest of the inhabitants of the building in various bloody ways, I controlled my anger.

"Em...and I was to know of this, how?"

"Oh you didn't get a letter? Well the person who signed you last time would have told you"

"You signed me last time", I replied, without hint of amusement in my voice.

"Oh!"

"Indeed"

When it became apparent he was slowly turning into a deer in headlights, I prompted him once more.

"So, can I be seen earlier then since its clear I was unaware of the appointment and no one saw fit to enlighten me?"

"Hold on, I'll go and ask Hamish if he can fit you in", he whimpered, scuttling off.

"Oh goody", I replied.

A few moments later, our friend and his newly found ally Hamish came over.

"Mr B, you would have gotten a letter about this appointment"

"I'm sure you'll maintain it was sent, but I can assure you, it never arrived, and I am getting all the rest of my post"

"Hmm..well I wont be able to see you before 13:40 I'm afraid, I'm just going on a tea break then I'll be busy with customers all the way up to your appointment and beyond"

"The increasingly intense look of thunder on my face caused him to take a step back, as I stood up"

"and I have arrangements today so as I see it, the only option is to reschedule it"

"Oh we can't do that, and you MUST attend"

"Are you deliberately trying to provoke me Hamish. Should I be waiting for someone with a camera to jump out about now...or is it you're just not listening to me?"

He stood there dumbfounded.

"Forget it I said, I'll make sure to put a complaint in" I ranted as I left.

On the way down the road back to the mansion, I thought about it and wondered why I hadn't asked to speak to a manager.

I got straight on the phone, and destroyed a woman, who we'll call, Isobel (why? because I can! - deal with it) who promptly offered to reschedule the appointment for Monday. Of course, that made me worse in some ways, given I had been told that was an impossibility.

After another rant in which she valiantly fought to get a word in edgeways, and subsequently failed, she agreed that I could have my appointment today, before 12 o clock, as I had to come and sign anyway, since the fools I had seen earlier had failed to do so.

So after my second trip into the wastelands of Wester Hailes, surrounded in the Job Centre by the great unwashed, I was seen by Isobel, who looked like a cross between a chicken and clitoris and she sorted everything, after 40 mins.

Honestly, they could save us all a lot of trouble by sacking themselves, and giving us the jobs they do, because clearly some of them can't make it to the shitter without a map and a torch.

Fucktards! It's been a while since I've used that terminology, but it seems somewhat appropriate.

However, I am calmed now, somewhat, and I can get back to my day.

I'm off to play Portal now :D

Denny Crane, over and out.

Yahtzee Questions Silent Hill's Origins....

Gods?! Why do you mock me?!!

Typical - I'm in the mood for a bit of a graphic overhaul and my photoshop is kaput due to my reinstallation of windows!

Can I find an install file anywhere? Can I buggery!

Damn unt blast!!

Yahtzee gives Princess Peach one!

As promised, here is the next installment from the flame retardant narcissist....you gotta love 'im.


Oh and Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all you folks! I hope the great big peado in the red fluffy outfit was "good" to you all and that you all got sloshed on Hogmany - huzzah!